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I left! I got distracted by Birthdays and jobs and sleeping and all those things that get in the way of the VITAL job of telling a small group of people online about my skin condition.

I was 27 this week, I mean I was 26, now I am 27 – I feel like I’ve crossed some kind of bracket into another checkbox whenever I fill in a form. ’27-30′ oh dear.

Anyway, skin. Things have been okay ish, I’ve been avoiding gluten since I’ve decided that’s what makes me worse – I always kind of avoid most things being vegan, so I expect my liver is like some kind of palace – but yes, gluten-free, although my skin took a weird turn this week and I had to scrabble around to find some gluten to blame, it could have been in the malt vinegar crisps I ate but didn’t check:\, or excitingly, it could be in the Aveeno I apply all over me every day! 

so yes, that happened, it hasn’t been terrible but I have caved in a couple of times and turned the shower up SUPER hot, I know it hurts afterwards and it sucks all the moisture out of me, but for those 7 minutes of scalding my whole body at once it feels incredible! Please don’t do it! But my god. I need to work on stopping that habit – its particularly easy to do on my legs – since they dont twist and articulate as much as my arms/torso I can get away with abusing them much more. Sorry legs.

ALSO, this week I finally got to see a dermatologist, she took a bloody test, was totally cool and helpful and sympathetic, and in the end recommended I buy industrial size Aveeno with a special voucher for cheapness – and I use steroids once a week, for a bit. To clear me up. I got booked in for a patch test too but that’s not until Sept. Sigh.

I really don’t want to go ahead with the steroids so I think I’m going to bail out on them and keep on with this long-term unproven TSW thing, and hope that come Sept the skin test says i’m allergic to a thing, and if i stop eating the thing, I will improve. I just need to know, you know? No progress picture this time because I am nursing an unusually awful graze I scratched into me in my sleep, doesn’t feel like progress! but apart from that month 3 has been the easiest so far!

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So I’m aware this blog has *almost* become a permanently sad voyage into my self-esteem, well guess what! Yesterday good stuff happened. Take that, pessimism. 

 

For what I can only describe as no-reason-at-all, my skin turned a corner yesterday. The day before was probably its peak of itchy/redness for about 4 weeks, but after this day of sulking and sitting still, i woke up on Saturday to find it was less red, less itchy, more supple and seemingly mended – I didn’t really think about my skin all day at work, and even snuck in some cake (wheat! bad!) and a giant Costa Coffee (sugar! bad!) with seemingly no consequences.

I was able to work out at the gym (read: my bedroom, with a different lighting setting), and spend the evening watching Nicholas Cage movies with wine and my fiance (this is the most profound leap, I would not normally be able to sit through ten second of his long boring face, but maybe that was the wine).

My point is that for all the sulking and feeling sorry for myself and feeling not worth the effort, days like this are fucking amazing, the sun was a little brighter, music sounded a little better, I got a cake! These are the days that make me feel like it will all be worth it in the end, I read a post on ITSAN about the positives TSW can give you, and this grateful positive outlook on the simple things is definitely one of them. I can’t wait until every day is like this. I’m only two months in but I’m just going to enjoy this moment in the sun.

 

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